Wednesday, April 17, 2013

A Break-Up

Well, friends...

I'm currently going through a break-up.

No, no, no, not with The Boy!  He and I are as picture-perfect as usual.

No, I had a break-up with my scale.

I have always been a results-driven person: I strived for a 4.0 in high school (got it), I pushed for straight As in college (almost got it -- stupid women's studies course), I work my butt off and try my hardest to prove myself in my job, etc.

In addition, I have always been quite obsessive.  I review emails 18,000 times before I send them, just to make sure they're perfect and that nothing could be misunderstood.  I spend hours planning my meals to ensure that my proteins and carbs are as close to where they should be as possible.  I create detailed training calendars like it's my job.

For years after the lovely digital scale landed in my bathroom, I stepped on it every. single. morning.

And every. single. morning. that the number did not decrease, I got super discouraged.

I mean, I would be running 15, 18, 26.2 miles, I would be pumping major iron at CrossFit, I would be watching what I eat like a crazy woman, but the number on the scale either would not change or would, in fact, go up.

And that was, as you can imagine, so discouraging.

Eventually, I just thought, well, if I'm not losing weight doing everything I possibly can, then I might as well just eat whatever the heck I want.  And that, my friends, is where Flamin' Hot Cheetos, Sour Patch Kids, chimichangas, and cabernet enter the picture.

That's also where major weight-gain comes in to play.

Because of my results-driven and obsessive personality (lovely aspects that they are), I have realized that stepping on the scale every day is actually quite detrimental to my health and emotional well-being.

It turns out that I did, in fact, lose some weight over the course of several months -- approximately 12 pounds.  But when I stepped on the scale every single day, there would be fluctuation: I would gain a pound, lose a few ounces, gain another ounce, drop a pound, etc.

Like with most things in life, it was easier to focus on the negative (weight increasing) rather than the positive (weight decreasing).  So while I was losing weight overall and over time, my brain only registered the increases, thereby making me think that I was gaining weight.

I wasn't focusing on the long-term -- I was focusing on the right-now.

In order to not discourage myself, I decided that during the initial ten-week session at Farrell's, I would only weigh myself three times: at the very beginning, at the five-week testing, and at the very end.

Let me tell you: it has not been easy.  Every morning the scale taunts me, just begging me to step on and take a quick peek at the number below my feet.

And every morning I tell that scale no.

I know that I am working out like crazy, I know that I'm eating exactly what I am supposed to, so I can only assume that the number on the scale will drop like it is supposed to.  I just don't want to risk the discouragement of "How did I only lose two pounds?!" or "I'm up a half a pound today?!" before it is absolutely necessary.

And, I know that before that number drops, it may go up.  After all, I am building a heck of a lot of muscle.  I only want to weigh myself when I'm also taking into account measurements and body-fat percentage.

But most importantly, I need to remember this:

And that, my friends, is why the scale and I are DONE.

Question: How often do you weigh yourself?  What other factors do you take into consideration when discerning whether or not your current exercise and nutritional plan are working?


  1. I don't weigh myself. When I lived with a few other girlfriends and we had a scale, I would. But when I moved out with my boyfriend, I didn't bring one into the house. I already obsess about my weight/appearance enough, I didn't want that.

    I started Kosama in November (and went until the end of January, and have only been back a few times since) and when we did our initial 8 week weigh in, I had only lost 5 lbs. 5 lbs for getting up 3-4 days a week at 4:45 to work out like a crazy woman and only losing 5 lbs? It was very discouraging. But I can say, now that I haven't been going, my body aches in the "I'm old" way - not the "oh, that was a good workout" way. I'm tired more, I can't run as far as I use to and I'm sure I weigh more than I did after that 8 week weigh in. I'm doing my best to go back, but like you, I'm obsessed with the number on the scale, what I eat, etc. It's so time consuming and annoying, isn't it? I just don't like putting so much effort and time into something and not seeing the results on the scale I would hope for!

    1. It is SO time-consuming! BUT, I'm hoping that it is worth it... Do you like Kosama?

  2. I weigh myself every day. I do identify with everything ( literally- everything! It would be very scary to meet in real life; you may well be my American doppelgänger) but I can't break that relationship with the scale. At the moment, I have finished 10 weeks of a 12 week intense exercise and nutrition program and I have lost a grand total of...... 2.5 kilos. But I will just keep on going. What else can you do! Keep up your good work, Emmy. Melissa.
    Ps we are going to the USA at Christmas- that will be my reward for hopefully doing multiple rounds of this '12 week total body transformation' a pretty big incentive to stay focused!

    1. Hi Melissa! :)

      Do you blog? I'd love to read it since you're right -- are we twins?!

      Where are you from? And where will you be visiting in the USA? I'm guessing Iowa isn't at the top of your list. :)

      Have a great weekend!