Thursday, April 21, 2011

The Sun Will Rise Tomorrow

Sorry about yesterday.

That apology goes out to two groups of people, only one of which is probably reading this: first, I would like to apologize to YOU for failing to post yesterday.  I was on a roll, and I failed.  Second, I would like to apologize to my three best friends - with whom I went to book club and dinner - for being a total Debbie Downer.

As you may know, I teach ninth grade in an urban high school; my kids are 14- and 15-years-old.  I'm not going to go into detail here (duh), but suffice it to say that sometimes really, really shitty things happen in their lives, things that are absolutely unfathomable and so intensely heartbreaking.  I cannot help but internalize some of their pain and sadness - I care too much.  And that gets so emotionally draining.

Yesterday was the day I just broke down.

My children just should not have to experience half of the things they do.  And I wish I was not so utterly helpless.

And now I'm going to apologize about today.  After putting all of that down on "paper," I just don't have the energy to write anything else.

However, I want to include this picture because of something my best friend said today, something that stuck with me.  She is a substance abuse counselor and led one of her groups on the second step: turning troubles over to a higher power.  I asked her how that step worked with individuals who are not religious, and she said the "higher power" can be anything that the person trusts:

"I trust that the sun will rise tomorrow."  

While I do believe in something greater than I, I also find it comforting and reassuring to know that the sun will rise; tomorrow will come.

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