Reflections & Intentions

As 2017 comes to a close and the New Year begins, it is the perfect time for reflection and goal-setting, and even though I have written on this blog so minimally in the last few years, it is the best medium through which to record my reflections for 2017 and state my intentions for 2018.

(And that is specifically what I want to call these goals: they are not resolutions but are instead intentions. To me, this terminology seems more like a life-changing, transformative action rather than a let's-do-this-for-a-hot-second-and-then-fall-off-the-wagon-mid-January type thing.)

This past year was filled with so much joy and happiness and love, but I also faced some major downfalls, the biggest of which just happened: on December 27th, we lost my grandma, the most remarkable woman. Her funeral was yesterday, and I just got back from North Dakota a few hours ago. This was an incredible loss, and I have such immense sadness. My plan is to write a (literal) book about my grandma, but unfortunately, I am not in a place where I can write much more than this right now. I am just so sad.

The other major downfall was battling ankle issues, culminating in the surgery I discussed (complete with graphic images) in my previous post. While I was hopeful that it would fix everything and I would be back to running half marathons and lifting all of the weights, that doesn't appear to be the case; in fact, while the pain isn't constant (thank goodness), there are far too many days that are worse than before surgery.

Additionally, the fact that our country is a hot mess for so many reasons has been extremely distressing, to say the least.

But, this year was filled with so many wonderful things, too. First and foremost, I am surrounded by so much love. My partner and I moved in together at the end of September and have built a lovely (and loving) home. My family is the absolute best in the entire universe -- and is filled with so much laughter and light and love.

Second, I was awarded a few amazing opportunities professionally. First, I participated in the Bridging Cultures Initiative, and I met a tremendous network of educators around the world, people with whom I have developed lifelong friendships. Second, I am a Teachers for Global Classrooms fellow; I completed an incredible intensive online course this fall; I will be flying to Washington, D.C., in February for a symposium; and I will be spending three weeks in Colombia this summer. Third, I was just notified that I will be participating in the BRIDGE Program through iEARN, which will help me further my knowledge of and experience with global education.

Finally, while I was down and out with my ankle issue, I went outside of my comfort zone (both emotionally and physically) and tried a number of different fitness ventures, including elliptical, spinning, swimming, and Pilates. I found that I absolutely love -- and excel at -- Pilates, which has been an exciting discovery on so many levels.

And that leads me to my intentions for 2018.

1. Fitness

Not being able to run and lift has been such a bummer for me, which is why I am indelibly grateful that I finally found something that I can do, something that is both challenging and exciting.

My intention for 2018 is to continue my Pilates practice, and my goal is to attend at least four classes each week. Additionally, I want to continue improving in my practice, achieving new skills and reaching new levels.

(Relatedly, I would ideally make my goal more performance-based rather than a quantitative measure, but I do not yet know what my performance goal would/should be -- which makes me think it is time to have a conversation with my instructors.)

Totally me. 100%. (Insert laugh-cry emoji here.)

2. Nutrition

I feel fairly strong in my Pilates practice: my instructors push me to try new things almost every day, and I am often used as the guinea pig in my classes, the person to demonstrate the position for others. Additionally, I feel stronger than I did even a month ago. But -- and here is where this second intention comes in -- I don't look like it.

My nutrition has been atrocious.

The sugar dragon has reared its ugly head, and I have not even attempted to slay it.

I have not yet determined what my nutrition will look like for 2018, which I realize is not a strong start to this intention. Essentially, I just want to make healthier choices. Nearly everything I cook is healthy, and most of it is also Paleo. But, I have gone off the deep end in regard to snacking: "Oh, there are donuts in the office? Awesome." "Why yes, I do need a bowl of pretzels while I'm watching TV." "Long car ride? Hot Tamales? Don't mind if I do."

In the past I have done a few Whole30s, but I honestly do not believe this is the best option for me. I mean, I was legit allergic to it a few years ago. But also, I don't really do well with the restriction. When I did a Whole30 a couple of years ago, I got so sick of what I was eating, for instance, that I would just skip the meal. Newsflash: that is not healthy behavior.

Also, I now have a 12-year-old girl in my life, and I want to be very careful about how I talk about and treat food and nutrition. I don't want to ever say the word "diet," nor do I want to say that I "can't" have something. What I do want to do, however, is model healthy choices, including home-cooked meals and whole, unprocessed foods.

While I believe the majority of my nutrition will be Paleo (simply because I know this is what makes me feel the best), I will not be sticking to it 100%. I already know, for instance, that I will be drinking Metamucil every morning because I am a 90-year-old man. I also know that I will not be scouring nutrition labels for sugar-free bacon and sausage because that is doing too much. I also know that I will not be scrutinizing every ingredient my partner uses when he cooks us dinner. And, I also know that I will occasionally want some popcorn.

3. Water

I am the worst when it comes to drinking water. A lot of this has to do with the fact that as a teacher, my bathroom breaks are fairly limited: I can't just leave a classroom of 34 14-year-olds to fend for themselves, and I also can't make it to the bathroom down the hall and around the corner in a five-minute passing period when I have students waiting to talk to me about this, that, and the other thing.

But really, that's an excuse.

I need to drink more water.

My intention for 2018 is to drink four Camelbaks per day. Including the water that I so gracefully sip chug with my Metamucil in the morning, this will be just under a gallon.

4. Books

I love to read -- and I don't do it enough. I have also never set a goal to read a certain number of books in a year, but I'm going to do so in 2018 in hopes that it will encourage me to read more.

My intention is to read 50 books this year.

According to Goodreads, I read 32 books last year. That seems like a low number to me, but it could be because of the ten-week course I took for my fellowship. There was not a whole lot of pleasure reading happening during that time, especially because I was also working three jobs (teaching, freelance writing, and working at the gym). Also, I was on a lot of drugs after surgery: considering I still don't know what Moana is about, I don't think reading would have been a solid choice.

5. Social Media

The amount of time I waste scrolling on Facebook is ridiculous. I can easily meeting my aforementioned intention of reading more if I focused on books rather than on mindless status updates. While I cannot give up Facebook entirely due to various organizations with which I am involved, what I can do is remove the app from my phone.

My intention is to delete the app and then check Facebook once each day.

Additionally, as the image suggests, I want to spend more time outside -- specifically by going on walks with my partner. We live in an incredible city and just blocks from the river and a gorgeous park, and it is so silly that we can count the number of leisurely walks we have taken on two hands.

I mean, I may wait until the temps rise above zero, but we'll see.

6. Nails

I have bitten and/or picked my nails my entire life. It is an absolutely disgusting habit, and I need. to. stop. And I have stopped before. There was a good chunk of time a couple of years ago where I actually had to file my nails because they were so long.

(Yes, I realize that that is a ridiculous statement for most of you, but for me, this was a first.)

I don't know what happened, but I reverted to old habits, and my nails are looking as raggedy as ever.

So, my intention is to just stop it. To help, I will be painting some hard-core top coat on my nails in hopes that will deter me.

Give me one month, and hopefully my nails will be as pretty as this picture.

While it is really, really hard for me to not end my list on a multiple of five, I want to keep my intentions both specific and manageable. Ultimately, I hope to have a beautifully happy and healthy 2018.

Cheers, friends.

All Around the World

Hello friends!

I haven't written for a while, and dang, a lot has happened.

First, I had ankle surgery two-and-a-half weeks ago. Yep. I bit the bullet and opted for surgical intervention, as nothing else was working, and my ankle hurt worse than it ever had before. The good news is that the surgeon found a bone spur on the back of my talus -- it wasn't showing up in X-rays, and he's hopeful that getting rid of it (as well as miscellaneous crap that was going on down there) will solve all of the issues.

This was my post-surgery nest -- complete with blankies, pillows, cat(s), and my not-pictured-because-she's-taking-the-picture mama.

This was my other post-surgery nest, complete with blankies, pillows, crutches, and my not-pictured-because-he's-taking-the-picture boyfriend.

And here's the one-week-post-op incision. Upon seeing this for the first time, I literally almost fainted. I can finally look at it now and not want to vomit, so I have that going for me.

I have started walking short distances without the boot, and it's going pretty well. Stairs are a bit difficult, and the more I'm on my feet, the more swollen it gets (duh). I get the stitches out on Wednesday, which will be super exciting. My fingers are crossed that I'll be all better soon.

On a completely different note, I just got back from an incredible conference: the Bridging Cultures Initiative at the University of Illinois, Champaign-Urbana. I was one of nine American teachers selected to attend a symposium with 20 teachers from around the world. This was a joint venture through the US Department of Education and the US Department of State, and I am so grateful to have been given this extraordinary opportunity. I learned so much, and I came away with such phenomenal connections, friendships that I know will last a lifetime.

I am standing on the far left -- black dress.

Relatedly, I was recently notified of yet another tremendous opportunity: the Teachers for Global Classrooms fellowship, which is also through the US Department of State. I was one of 76 teachers (out of more than 450 qualified applicants). Essentially, I will do three things: 1.) participate in an intensive online course this fall, 2.) travel to Washington, D.C., for a fully-funded three-day symposium in February, and 3.) go on a fully-funded 2-3 week international field experience next summer. I am ecstatic -- and completely floored that I was chosen.

(Fun fact: if you click on the TGC link, the man in the photo at the top of the page is one of my Bridging Cultures colleagues!)

So I've been given the opportunity to meet educators from around the world, and I will soon be traveling around the world myself. Recently, though, I've had a piece of the world delivered to my doorstep through Modern Map Art. Check out the newest addition to my apartment:

Yes, yes, I know that St. Paul is not really "around the world" to me since it's right next to where I live (and where I'll be moving in November), but enough about that. Modern Map Art offers maps from over 500 cities across the globe, everything from Aberdeen to Zurich. I'm especially fond of Des Moines, Omaha, and Minneapolis myself.

Additionally, they offer a number of other types of maps:

Ski Maps

Country Maps

City Skylines

And, there are more than just prints. You can also purchase maps in the following "accessories":

Phone Cases

Pillows

I am in love with my St. Paul map, y'all, and I have gotten so many compliments on it. First, it's pretty big: 12x18 (although they come in five different sizes). Second, it's on museum quality matte paper with Ultrachrome ink that is rated to last 100 years (or 200 if properly framed and protected). Third, the customer service at the company is unparalleled -- and they offer free shipping in the United States!

If you are interested in your own city/country map, please check out Modern Map Art. I, for one, am excited to add more maps to my art collection.

See you soon, y'all! I hope you're having a super summer so far! :)

I Will Get There

Hello again!

It's been two days since the Return to Blogging, and I know you've been waiting with bated breath to see how my crazy fitness and nutrition plan has been going.

Well, friends, wait no more.

Let's start with Tuesday, the day that my "mission" started.

Breakfast: I made Poached Eggs with Tomato, Swiss Chard, and Chickpeas for breakfast this week. It reminded me of one of my favorite Nom Nom Paleo recipes, Uova in Purgatorio. But guess what, y'all? This was better. I loved it and am already excited to make it again next week.

Lunch: I brought a huge salad for lunch today. Hy-Vee (my favorite grocery store ever) has a great salad bar, and I threw together a bucket o' veggies, a sprinkling of blue cheese and slivered almonds,  and a couple tablespoons of sun-dried tomato vinaigrette.

What makes lunch a huge success is that it was our staff appreciation luncheon, and our administration bought us huge Subway sandwiches and delicious-looking desserts. I attended the luncheon but ate my salad instead of the other goodies.

Dinner: I made one of my new favorite recipes, Blackened Shrimp Tacos. I think I could eat queso fresco on everything. To drink, I had a kombucha, as I'm trying to up my intake of probiotics.

Snacks: I ate an apple and a Quest bar (my new favorite protein-packed treat).

Overall, I was right on track in regard to my macros.

Workout: I did a leg/butt workout that included deadlifts (starting with 135 pounds and working up to 165, as I'm still re-building my strength), good mornings, leg press (373 pounds), calf raise (on the leg press machine), two miles on the elliptical, and Week One: Day One of Sore to the Core.

Basically, I killed it.

Mini-Goals: I hit my 10,000 steps and drank four Camelbaks of water.

Tuesday was a success!

Breakfast: This could get boring. I ate the same thing I did on Tuesday.

Lunch: Again, this is pretty boring, as I ate my leftover tacos. But, I added some roasted asparagus.

Dinner: I forgot to take a picture of it, but I made one of my new favorite, easy, made-up recipes that I so cleverly call Chicken with Peppers and Queso Fresco. (I told you that I could eat queso fresco on everything...)

Snacks: I had an apple after my workout, and then things get a little trickier. I finished up some Good & Plenty that I had leftover from my weekend road trip. Then, J and I went to a show, and I had a beer (followed by soda water w/ lime) as well as a few of the steak fries he ordered.

But, all of that kept me within my macros!

Workout: Today was another kick-ass day at the gym. It was chest/back day, so I did bench (starting with 45 pounds and moving up to a formerly-easy but currently-difficult 85 pounds), close-grip bench (55 pounds), lat pulldown, machine back extension, seated cable row, Week One: Day Two of Sore to the Core, and two miles on the elliptical.

Mini-Goals: Yet again, I smashed my 10,000 steps and drank four Camelbaks of water.

Breakfast: You guessed it! I ate my last serving of Poached Eggs with Tomato, Swiss Chard, and Chickpeas. 

Lunch: Yep! I brought my leftover Chicken with Peppers and Queso Fresco -- but I also brought some asparagus.

Dinner: Tonight I made an oldie-but-a-goodie: Crab Cakes w/ Mango Avocado Salsa. I forgot just how amazingly delicious these are. I also had kombucha because, well, probiotics.

Snacks: I had a Quest bar and some Metamucil. (I'm not even ashamed to admit it, and I don't care that it makes me sound like an 80-year-old man: Metamucil is the best stuff in the entire universe.)

In order to fit my macros, I had a serving and a half of the crab cakes and salsa.

Workout: I took a day off of abs and lifting because wow, I am sore. My muscles are like, "Yeah! We remember this! But it's been a while, yo!" Instead, I laid by the pool for a bit. Because I was still short on steps, though, I headed to the gym this evening for an elliptical workout and ended up cranking out three miles.

Mini-Goals: I'm killing it, y'all. Those 10,000 steps had nothing on me, and I have been chugging water like it's going out of style.

I'm really digging this plan.

I am someone who needs routine, someone who appreciates guidelines. I have given myself both with this plan.

Nutritionally, I am eating a wide variety of food: veggies, meats, cheese, fruit, grains, etc. And while there have been moments of huh, I could go for a snack right now, they have been few and far between; my meals fill me up and keep me full for quite a while.

As far as fitness goes, it feels good to be a regular at the gym again. I have spent years poo-pooing the elliptical, but y'all, I am giving myself a damn good workout on that machine. I have a long way to go before I feel like I can compare it to running (which is a kick-ass core workout for me), but I'm not hating it as much as I had anticipated.

But, I'm likely not hating it because I'm pushing myself like crazy. What I've been doing this week is starting with a super-fast mile -- and pushing myself to beat that super-fast time the following day. So far I've significantly smashed my records. After my super-fast initial mile is done, I do another mile or two at a moderate pace to keep my heart rate elevated and to get those steps in.

Tomorrow is Pedal Pub Day, so as I previously mentioned, I am not going to stay within my macro guidelines; I am going to have a nutritionally-sound breakfast, lunch, protein-packed snack, and four Camelbaks of water, but then I am going to have a few adult beverages and likely dinner out. And that's okay.

And aside from pedaling around Northeast Minneapolis, I'm probably not going to workout. The original plan was to get up super early and workout before school, but I foolishly had a coffee with my friend at the pool, and now I'm wide awake. While I'll set my alarm for 5:00, waking up that early is not likely. But, I'll still get my steps. 

This is my new "everything in moderation." And I'm really excited (and amazingly motivated) to see where it takes me.

A New Mission

It's been a while. Like, a long while. Like, six months a while.

Oops.

Life has been incredible the last six months. Some highlights include celebrating Christmakkuh with my family and my boo (J) in Omaha, celebrating New Year's with J and his daughter in St. Paul, road-tripping with J on our first family vacation to Florida and to Ohio, flying to Santa Fe with J and wandering around the city while he worked, being selected as one of ten teachers to participate in the Bridging Cultures Initiative, being asked to present at big conferences in Des Moines and St. Paul, finding an amazing group of like-minded friends and colleagues, and I could go on and on.

Overall, life has been ridiculously amazing.

J and I jet-skiing in the Gulf of Mexico. 

What hasn't been amazing, however, is my focus on healthy living.

As mentioned in my previous post, I have been battling a foot injury. Yes, you're reading that correctly: have been battling, not battled. You may think that it should be back to perfect now; after all, I was in a boot for a collective six weeks (minimum, probably longer), went to physical therapy for another six-ish weeks, received a cortisone injection, and followed every single one of the doctor's orders (for once) for seven months.

But you would be wrong.

I finally went back to the doctor at the end of April and had another MRI. The talus bone healed (yay!), but they didn't know what was wrong (boo!). So they sent me to a specialist -- which is what I wanted them to do back in October.

The appointment with the specialist was by far the best, most productive orthopedic appointment I have ever had in my life. He ordered more x-rays, gave me some shoe inserts for my semi-flat feet, injected more steroids into the joint, and gave me a light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel treatment option: surgery to break up the scar tissue (from a horrible ankle sprain I got in a soccer game seven years ago) that was likely impinging on stuff it shouldn't be.

(Fun fact: the specialist knows my brother! They both trained in Michigan! Small world.)

I am hoping that the injection and the inserts help, as I'm not super excited about a surgical option. (I've never had surgery, and that terrifies me.) However, it's been pretty uncomfortable over the past week, so I'm not sure how lucky I'm going to be in that regard.

As you can imagine, this has been extremely frustrating. At this time last year, I was prepping to run a half marathon -- a half marathon that I would end up PR-ing by almost 20 minutes. I was powerlifting crazy amounts of weight, and I was two months out from running 17 miles of a Ragnar relay.

I was in the best shape of my life.

And now, I'm far from it. I have gained 20 pounds in the last year. Just typing that makes me want to puke. Twenty pounds. How does that happen?!

Actually, that's a silly question. This is exactly how it happened: I have been eating (and drinking) whatever the heck I want and have not been able to run or lift like I want to. My cardio has been limited to swimming (puke) and cycling (fun -- with the right spin instructor). My lifting has been limited to upper-body and weight machines (that do nothing for my quads, hammies, or booty).

I want to look like I did last summer. I want to rock my jorts and slinky tank tops. I want to look smokin' in whatever sundress I throw on. I want to live in my bikini at the pool. Yes, I realize I can do all of those things now. But I want to do all of those things and feel like I did last summer; I want to be where I was a year ago both physically and, more importantly, mentally.

So, I made a plan.

I am going to print this off every week and record -- in pen/pencil -- my plan and how I accomplished each daily goal.

I'm not anal-retentive. Not at all.

Let's break it down, shall we?

The top portion of the document is clearly my meal plan: what I am going to eat for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks.

While I love Whole30 and Paleo and believe that they are excellent nutritional plans, they are not realistic for me at the moment (I like tortillas and rice), so I'm trying something new: IIFYM.

I put all of my information into the IIFYM calculator and determined the number of grams of carbs, fat, and protein I should be eating in order to gain muscle and lose fat most effectively and efficiently.

(Side note: I abhor counting calories and macros, but I need to do something and am excited to give this a go.)

The bottom of the top chart is where I will record how well I did macro-wise for the day. (I use MyFitnessPal to track nutrition.)

The workout section is where I plan what workout I am doing when, and the miscellaneous section is where I note what kind of outside-of-work activities I have going on that day so that I can plan accordingly.

The bottom half of the page shows my targets for the week: I want to hit 10,000 steps per day (which I am finding to be difficult when I can't run), do four days of Sore to the Core ab work (so my tummy can be back to its flat-ish self), do four days of lifting and four days of cardio (which can be on the same day, obviously), and drink at least three liters of water each day (which equals four of my Camelbak bottles, hence the four boxes).

And that's it.

I know that it's not just a couple of goals. I know that this won't be easy. But I also know that I can do it.

(I should also add that there will be some days of exception to my brilliant plan. After all, summer is coming up, and lots of fun, celebratory adventures happen during this time. For instance, I will be partaking in a "pedal pub" on Friday, so while I will workout in the morning and have a nutritious breakfast and lunch, I know that I will be drinking beer and eating not-super-healthy food for dinner, and I'm okay with that.)

The one goal that did not make it on my chart (but may in the future) is blogging. I really like writing. And I really like how it keeps me accountable. I can't promise this will be an everyday activity, as I have a lot of amazingness in my life right now and blogging takes more time than you may believe, but I hope to write at least a few times a week -- definitely more than once every six months.

I look forward to y'all (hey, Mom!) joining me on this journey.

Peace and love, yo.